Celebrating Bubbie's Birthday

Today, March 14, 2013, 

would have been my Bubbie's 84th birthday. 

Left to right: Bubbie, my mom, my sister Jennifer, my brother, myself, and Jeddie (my grandfather) on Jeddie's birthday

As all lives do, my sweet Bubbie's came to an end on June 18, 2011. In the time that has passed since, I have often found myself comforted with fond memories and mementos of Bubbie, as well as the love and support of my remaining family.

Bubbie and I at my graduation ceremony at Duquesne University, when I finished grad school in 2007

I have written about Bubbie before, and I often refer to her in my everyday life. She was, to put it plainly, my best friend. Bubbie always used to tell me that I was "#1"(sorry brother, sister, and cousins...it's true.) It is a fact that I was the first grandchild and the oldest, though, so I will concede that my birth order may have influenced my moniker.

Bubbie was without a doubt my biggest fan. There's really no way to succinctly convey all of the wisdom she passed along to me, so I won't make the attempt. 

I will say this though: before she passed, Bubbie named ME as the matricarch of our family.

ma·tri·arch  

/ˈmātrēˌärk/

Noun

1. A woman who is the head of a family or tribe.
2. An older woman who is powerful within a family or organization.

Just to be clear, Bubbie is survived by my mother and my aunt, with my mother being the eldest of the two and the assumed "heiress" to the matriarchal role. Those facts aside, Bubbie saw fit to bequeath this important family position to me. 

Initially it was lighthearted; a bit of a family joke...except that it wasn't a joke. 

Bubbie charged ME with maintaining order and balance among our family. She left me with the responsibility to take on HER role: to keep everyone safe, encourage new ventures, discourage poor decisions, and make sure that the family unit continues on as one unbreakable force.

...piece of cake, right?

Bubbie always said that cardinals were spirits of loved ones passed; they are guardians who watch over us and make sure we are safe on our way. This winter, I noticed that the most brilliantly beautiful bright red cardinal has taken up residence in the small bush on the edge of my patio. He sweeps in and out, pausing to peer in and make sure I'm doing what I need to do. 

This is the kind of thing that brings me joy: the smallest symbol that makes me know that Bubbie will always be with me. 

So, on this very special day, I have taken the time to honor and remember my dear Bubbie. 

If only she could be here to share in my joy.

31 Days, 31 Reasons to be Thankful: January 15: Insight

in·sight  

/ˈinˌsīt/Noun

1. The capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing.

My dear friend Mike said it best: "Lucy, you read between the lines between the lines."

That was his eloquent way of telling me that I look too deeply into things. He may have a point...but I'd like to consider that one of my finer qualities. I'll even go as far as to say...I'm thankful for it.

I do tend to "read between the lines between the lines", and it has served me well in my friendships. I take in the subtle hints, the barely audible pauses, and listen intently for hidden meaning.

Last night was the perfect example. One of my very best friends in the world was hurting, and she called me. A family member had suffered a medical emergency, and she was not able to come and meet me as we had originally planned. Fortunately, her family member is recovering comfortably and she made it home safe and sound.

When I asked her, "What can I do for you? Do you want me to come over?", her response was: "No (brief millisecond pause), you don't have to come out. I'm tired; I'm going to get something to eat and go to bed."

Here's what I heard:

"No (Yes. I don't want to ask you to drive out here because I think it's far and it's dark, but I am all alone here and I don't really know what to do with myself, so a human face and a hug would work miracles. This situation is new and I'm frightened, but I don't know how to ask for help. Oh, and bring cake.), you don't have to come out. I'm tired; I'm going to get something to eat and go to bed."

Now, I will readily admit that I have been a bad friend to some people...more than I would prefer to count, probably. I've made a ton of mistakes, have taken a LOT of things way too literally, and have had my feelings hurt by thoughts made up in my own head.

I will say this, though: I can't ever think of a time where I had a friend in need where my insight didn't help me to help them. For that, I am thankful.

Do YOU "read between the lines between the lines"? 

Does that help...or hurt?

"Only when inspired to go beyond consciousness by some extraordinary insight does beauty manifest unexpectedly."  -Arthur Erickson

31 Days, 31 Reasons to be Thankful! January 1: Family

Welcome to 2013! I am thrilled to be ringing in the new year with a new series: 31 Days, 31 Reasons to be Thankful. Some may say that the season for giving thanks has passed, but I think that the arrival of the new year is the perfect time to reflect, count your blessings, and prepare to take your life's bounty and move confidently into the future.

Today, I take the time to honor my #1 reason to be thankful: my family. I am honored to be a part of a quirky, loving, sarcastic, slightly dysfunctional yet fully supportive and overall amazing family. As I write this, I am enjoying the final day of my trip to Florida, where I came to visit and spend New Year's with my brother. We laughed until we cried and cracked sarcastic jokes for 4 days straight, making this one of my most favorite times of the year. Yesterday, my mom text messaged me a picture of her television screen showing the score of the Pittsburgh Steelers game: a MAJOR technological feat for her and her special way of saying that she was thinking of us. The day before I left for Florida, my stepmother called me to wish me a good trip because she remembers everything and never lets an event, appointment, and even the smallest milestone go unacknowledged.

 
My dear Bubbie, although she passed in June 2011, continues to play an influential role in my life and my business. I often laugh when I think of what she'd say in certain situations...and most times that is what guides me to the right decision. Bubbie always said that she was my #1 fan, and since she has been gone my Aunt Patti has taken over that role and become my best business "partner" and friend. Aunt Patti has been with me for some of my biggest bel monili moments, including flying all the way to Texas for my first Country Living Fair, hopping behind my table to help me at NOCC's TEALtini, and coming armed with Starbucks and comfortable shoes at Handmade Arcade.

Sure, there were times when my family has had issues. We're more Bundy's than Cleaver's...but that's what I love and there's nothing in the world that I would rather have.
As I move into 2013, I am so thankful for the wonderful times I have had with my family and for the memories we will create in the coming months.

Today my wish for all of you is that you can take a moment to reflect on YOUR family and share your favorite moments in the comments below...good, bad, or otherwise hilarious. Happy New Year!

January 31: Agnes Wozniak, Agnes' Antiques

Agnes Wozniak, Agnes' Antiques

Those of you who know me, or who have read my blog, have seen this photo before in the NOCC post. Today, on the final day of my blog series, I want to tell you a little bit more about my Bubbie, Agnes Wozniak, and just one of the many things that made her special.

Agnes opened up her little shop, Agnes' Antiques, in Pitcairn, PA in the early 1990s. As a child, I had the incredible fortune of living right up the street (5-6 houses up) from her shop, so every day she was open I got to run down and "play". As an adult, I now know the value of the closeness and time we had together. It was within the walls of that little shop that I observed some of the finest examples of how to live a good life, how to treat others, and how to become an excellent businesswoman.

Agnes' Antiques quickly became a landmark of sorts in the little town of Pitcairn, PA. Her storefront was small, maybe 300-400 square feet at the most. In it, you could find wonderful treasures that she had uncovered in her travels...pretty teacups from Turtle Creek, crystal beads from L.A., and many, many beautiful lamps, linens, and trinkets from some of her closest neighbors in Pitcairn. Agnes knew her customers and what they liked, but more importantly, Agnes' customers liked her.

Making a stop at Agnes' Antiques wasn't always about buying or selling something. When you walked through the door, you would often find Agnes sitting at her pretty little desk enjoying a fresh cup of coffee and reading Country Living or the local paper. She always had at least one other seat in the shop open, and in hindsight she probably could have charged admission for the privilege of time spent in that seat. She received visitors from near and far who sought out her advice not only about antiques or valuables, but about decor, personal style, social concerns, event planning, family, medical issues, spirituality, and anything else that they needed an expert ear to hear and advise upon. 

When people asked, "how do you choose what to put in your shop?" her response was simple: "I buy what I like." Oh, and what an eye she had. If I wasn't in school and Bubbie was going to look at some things to purchase for the shop, she would often take me with her. It was during these trips I learned what turned out to be some of the most valuable business lessons I know. I've summarized these into ten simple statements, which I will now put forth to you as Agnes' Rules of Engagement:

Treat people fairly. 

Don't pay any more than what you feel an item is worth. 

Buy only what you love. 

Dirty does not mean bad shape. 

Don't be afraid to dig.

Sometimes, silence is the loudest statement. 

Carry cash.

Let people think they know more than you; you'll always get the better deal.

Listen to what people have to say; you will always learn something you didn't know.

If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

As you may or may not know, we lost Agnes to ovarian cancer on June 18, 2011. Every day, I am reminded of just how much I learned from her and how those lessons have shaped who I am today. In my art, I believe that my gift with color combinations, texture, and originality come from her. At school, my patience and love of children comes from the care and respect she always showed to me, even as a child. In my business, the application of Agnes' Rules of Engagement have helped to bring me success that I could have never imagined.

So friends, it is this tribute I leave you with on the final day of my 31 Days, 31 Friends blog series. I hope you were able to learn things, connect with people, and reflect upon the fantastic friends YOU all have in your lives. Thanks for following!